The Thursday June 25, 2009 Oprah Winfrey Show was a repeat episode with guest Brenda Slaby. Brenda joined Oprah to share her painful story.
Brenda Slaby told Oprah that she tried to be both the perfect mother and employee. As assistant Principal of a school and the mother of two young girls, she was convinced that she could be "supermom" pleasing everyone by doing it all.
Brenda's First Day Back To Work
On the first day back to school after summer break, August 23, 2007 Brenda Slaby was in a big rush to get everything ready for the school new year. Her husband Gary usually brought the children to the babysitters and pre-school but because of a dental appointment he asked his wife to take the youngest daughter, 2-year-old Cecilia to the sitters for him.
Brenda left the house at 6:00 A.M. but realizing that it was too early to drop Cecilia off at the babysitters house she decided to stop at the store to grab doughnuts for the teachers.
With her mind on all of the things she needed to do at work to start off the new school year she forgot about the babysitter drop off and drove directly to the school.
She spent the day inside the school working, attending meetings, having her lunch break, and even talking to others about her children. She felt like she was having a great first day back, never remembering that she had left her youngest daughter in the car.
A Mother's Worst Nightmare
At 4:00 P.M. one of the teachers ran into Brenda's office to tell her that her baby was in the car. Brenda and other teachers ran out to the car screaming, but it was too late, the toddler still strapped in the carseat was lifeless.
The teachers made efforts to cool down and revive the toddler but she had died of heatstroke. That day temperatures reached 100 degrees and Cecilia had been in the car for close to 8 hours in the stifling heat.
Brenda and her husband Gary were both shocked and devastated. Gary said that he doesn't blame his wife for what happened and that on occasion he had made the mistake of forgetting the girls at the babysitters. He knows that Brenda would never intentionally do anything to harm her children and blames what happened on change in routine combined with a hectic lifestyle.
Most Hated Mom In America
Brenda was never charged with any crime and police were empathetic but those in her community could not understand how a mother could make such a mistake.Brenda told Oprah that she became "the most hated mom."
Brenda's Message To Busy Moms
Brenda Slaby wants to send an important message to overwhelmed mother's...SLOW DOWN! Don't try to be perfect. In Brenda's own words "I've learned to say a lot, 'It just doesn't matter,'" she says. "The house doesn't matter, the perfect dinner doesn't matter—the kids matter."
Society's Warped Expectations Of Motherhood
I personally feel sorry for Brenda and I blame society's exceedingly high expectations on us mothers. As a mother of four I feel very pressured to do it all, to work (make an income to contribute financially to the household), cook, clean, help with homework, put my children in swimming, dance, and music lessons, do the shopping, and on and on...and every magazine tells me I should be spending time pampering myself (are they serious?)
Nobody, can do everything! And I'm glad that Oprah featured a guest that proves it's impossible to so many things at once without making some serious mistakes along the way.
Busy Mom? Here's Some Great Tips
Here's some articles on "How To Slow Down" that I've gathered from across the web, it's time for mom's to step back and take a breath:
Parenting Blog - Busy Moms, Please Slow Down!
The Mommy Files - A Note To Parents - Slow Is The New Way To Go
Dr. Phil - Advice For Overscheduled Moms
